by Cathy Gilmore | Feb 14, 2016 | Love Letters from the Archive
[Dorothy and Ellsworth become engaged in the Spring of 1933, yet the are still spending summers apart while Ellsworth works in Idaho, and then later when he serves a six-month mission in Colorado. -Cathy]
[Ellsworth to Dorothy, 29 July 1933]
It is evening. The earth is fresh and green from the summers first rain. The sun has set but it is still light so as to see better the soft dewy foliage. It is sweet. The air is so clean and pure it is as if everything was in a preparedness of some sort. I’ll bet it’s just waiting for a lovely Miss Smith who is going to come and visit me for awhile. Yes, I can see her coming. He hair is back over her shoulders and the wind is blowing through it. Her lips are parted and a smile is a welcome to me. She is on her tiptoes and her arms are partly reaching to me in welcome. Her eyes are as stars, yet they shine with no glaring light, rather it is a soft brown glow that speaks of love, acknowledgement, trust and unending spirit. Is she going to get here? It is growing dusk. I’ll go meet her and taking her into my arms, press her gently to me.
________________________
[Ellsworth to Dorothy, 15 December 1933]
Dearest—
Just a note at this late hour to tell you I have not forgotten you and that I’m still alive and happy. The stars seem so low and bright tonight that I yearn for your company. This is truly a beautiful country and the only thing to make it more perfect would be— (you know who).
________________________
[Ellsworth to Dorothy 29 December 1933]
Dearest Little Starlet,
I’m oozing with sentiment tonight. The moon is full and my thoughts run tenderly along such lines as boat rids on a lagoon, walks in the park when it’s just chilly enough for the arm of your loved one to warm you, and skating on crystal clear ice with a sweetheart on my arm as the cold blue white stars wink and fall in the frosty sky. Then thoughts go back to June nights when the air is burdened with sweet perfume of big copper colored roses and lilac. When grass and ground invites you to linger and muse and in silence wonder at the handiwork of God & his goodness to Man. Two lovers are in bliss as they feel more than they can say, and when the kiss of the betrothed is as a sacrament for themselves, to a greater power than Man. Dreaming of days to come when service and love shall know no bounds and two shall be as one. Blessed children and blessed old age; even death is then beautiful.
It is beautiful tonight. Old Pikes Peak in majestic stillness is in communion with the stars & trees. It is quiet. The noise of city life is not near and as I look out in the dark, it seems you are near. See— I’m talking to you now. I’ll tell you how I love you if you don’t leave. This may seem foolish but you are near. And I know of a surety of my love for you.
________________________
[Ellsworth to Dorothy, 22 February 1934]
“Did you ever see a dream walking? Well, I did” [sketch of musical notes] etc. I saw that a number of times while a good member of the Capitol Hill Ward. Remember the times when we went walking after church. Also, how I could walk home with you from Sunday School & make a date for the evening. I can’t do that now but I can see you walking in dreams. I see you often as I remember you the times we got up early and went up some canyon. Remember the morning we walk up towards Parleys Canyon, and I kissed you right out on the prairie (I mean your mouth). Excuse me I don’t know my anatomy. What I meant to say was: we were standing out on the prarie [sic] in plain view of everybody for miles around, and I kissed, you. You see it was so early the people around were not up yet.
________________________
by Cathy Gilmore | Feb 14, 2016 | Letters, Love Letters from the Archive
[Ellsworth to Dorothy 9 July 1932]
As I sit here all alone I wonder what you are doing now. Are you having a good time! I hope so because it would compensate in some measure for the wonderful time I’m having. Wonderful – like fun.
Tonight while near the Union Pacific line irrigating No. 18 (Fast Mail & Passenger) came tearing down the track. It was dark but the coaches were ablaze with light and I could see in through the windows. I imagined I could see happy travelers waiting to meet some special friend. I could see lovers as they planned. But soon the “creeper” is gone. With a shrill whistle and a last flash of red light I am left alone. I look up in the sky. There is a half moon there – a star falls – I do not have time to say, “Money! Money!” Hmm – a half moon – 28 more days before another one – two more after that then —— then snow, school, work. Snow. Snowflake – the place where Dot was born one & twenty years ago. Twenty one year [sic] ago. Twenty one years ago I was three years old. What did I know of love then – no more idea that Dot was a squealing red faced little baby then that there was any world outside of my door-yard. Hmmm mighty funny – darn funny. Now I know her but can’t see her for – OH such a long time. But then what matters time. Reward, reward, desire – reward? Desire? I desired a letter this Saturday night but will probably be rewarded with one when a few more days have passed. I thought she was foolin when she said a letter in a few weeks. Hope she was. I desire – hope wish for one Monday. If not Monday then I may get one Tuesday. Think I’ll keep this crazy epistle around until then. If I got one Tues then sent it off. You see I would not like to bore her with too much of this sort of stuff.
Midnight – soon the kids from town will be home from the dance in Bennington. Couldn’t go up because I had to work late. Have to look out or I’ll forget how to dance or dress up for a young lady – best not to anyway, I guess. […] The radio is now transmitting “Extraordinary Girl” a minute ago it (orchestra) played “I love you truly”. It might have gone on and played “I miss a little Miss” and then the later hit that says something about “summer coming on and not girl to be had” – can’t get it just right. AW Rats.
[…] That was a grand letter you wrote last. I received it yesterday afternoon and was tickled nearly pink. It’s funny how I begin to wonder about things and worry for fear you’ve forgotten me if I don’t hear from you for a few days. I wondered all sorts of things. I even wondered if I should not write so often, but after getting your letter I decided to keep on writing but that perhaps I’d better cut down on the salutations & endings. I really mean them but if you think they are not proper I’ll have to let you hold me down a bit. I guess it’s because I’ve never used them before and I really wanted to and though perhaps you wouldn’t care. I hope you don’t think it was flattery. I detest such stuff. It is merely the way I feel. Forgive me.
I take your letters too seriously? Sometimes I think that you do not mean some things at least, not the way I take them. […] This is what I felt more like saying. Goodbye to the sweetest girl I’ve ever known.
Love, Ellsworth
___________________________________
[Ellsworth to Dorothy 1 August 1932]
I can tell by the wild flowers you sent that you were quite high in the mountains, as only those grow there at this time of the year. They were still beautiful.
Who says you are not a poet? It sounds like you and is good enough so I wonder if I should even try any more myself. I wish I could believe that you even though of me slightly, when you wrote it. If I though that were true I’d be just about the happiest fellow in this little old universe.
Gee, if I could step into some summer league I’d be seeing you in about a jiffy. I’d just quit this old letter and tell it to you personally. Somehow it’s not apt to get twisted as it might on paper. I often get of into so world of fantasy while going about my work and when I do I think up some of the greatest and amusing situations. Sometimes I am a fellow with a sudden gift of $10,000.00 and I figure out what I’d do with it. Then I’m in SLC and talking with you. Then we’re going on a hike somewhere and I’m seeing your home after a perfect evening. Sometimes I’m a successful Dr. again I’m a School Teacher. Oh. I guess I’m somewhat of a dreamer. Anyway, most of my dreams cluster around a certain little Girl at 474 E 4th S. She is to me the sweetest girl I can imagine just sensible enough not to be too flippant and just romantic enough to be interesting and extremely desirable. Oh Dot, I think of you in all my work. You just seem to pop up wherever I am and whatever I’m doing. Even though I’m busy and not able to write quite so often as I did I think of us often and with more real appreciation. At first it was sort of a devoid feeling I felt mostly because of my many evenings and days with you. It was a direct change in my way of living. Now I’m somewhat over that. I still am lonely but I’m realizing what it means to be a pal to you and be in your company. A deeper appreciation I believe. It’s surely the foundation for a very close friendship. I realize now that it is not a common infatuation or a short romance. If it were ever that it has changed into something which I want to keep and what means everything to me.
___________________________________
[Ellsworth to Dorothy 7 September 1932]
We drove from home Monday morning to Twin Falls. There we stayed at the camp ground & then this morning we came to the present place. I hope this letter reached you so that you can get a letter of to Grant’s Pass Oregon. It would tickle me pink to get one while there. Sort of make me remember you and good times past. I’m the future Goodness only knows I think about you a lot anyway. Sometimes I wonder along funny lines of thought. Especially when I did not hear from you for so long a time. Believe me I was glad when I cam home from work last Friday and your letter was waiting for me. I surely thought you had forgotten me.
Dorothy (right) stands with friend Evelyn at the North Temple Wall in Salt Lake City, Utah.
by Cathy Gilmore | Feb 13, 2016 | Letters, Love Letters from the Archive
For Valentine’s Day Weekend, we’re posting our favorite excerpts from our archive of love letters between Dorothy Smith and Ellsworth M. Clark. It’s 1932, and their relationship is quite young and unsettled. Ellsworth, on summer break in his hometown of Idaho, emerges as the lovesick but hopeful partner, while the playful Dorothy doesn’t seem quite ready to settle down. —Cathy
Detail from Dorothy Smith Clark scrapbook. Dorothy’s dance card from a Capitol Hill Ward dance from February 1932.
[Ellsworth to Dorothy, 24 June 1932,]
[…] It’s funny how a fellow reads things into letters. When I sat down to write your letter seemed the best ever and the more I read it the more I read into it. I guess I had better put it away and read it again when in better humor.
I wish I could see you tonight and talk to you . I’ve so much to say that will seem funny on paper. I’m afraid I’m a pretty poor correspondent card You might read things into it also. Then let’s hope that I’ll get better in my writing, become I guess its improbable that I’ll see you soon. Oh, Dot. Now here I am getting ‘blue’ etc. I’ll cut this rotten letter short and hope that the next one is very much better. Auf wiedersehen to the sweetest girl in the whole world.
Repentantly
Ellsworth
__________________________________
[Ellsworth to Dorothy, 6 July 1932]
[…]There is still a wonderful Indian Summer and Fall coming. There are places to go when the snow is on the ground also. You see I haven’t known you when we could have gone skating, sleighing, skiing, etc. What fun we’ll have if we can get together often enough. Well now that’s figuring a long time ahead, but then I like to dream of anything with wish I may associate your presence. No foolin’.
[…]
I wonder if they can’t invent someway of delivering a kiss & hug? (By machinery by luck, not by messenger) I don’t believe that would be such a good idea strike that one out. I’ll try to be there in person for such favors. What is if I would be so lucky as to receive any from the desirable lady.
About your idea on love. It’s very good and very idealistic. I might say that the love you desire to attain some day will be a very wonderful thing for a man. I wonder how many women can keep such an unfailing love though. I’ve seen so many, seemingly perfect, love affairs and marriages go on the rocks after a few months or years. There are so many stumbling blocks. Surely you are entitled to a very good husband. You must be very sure he is, before you give him a love like that which you say you desire to give. – More later-
Later – same day 11:00 p.m. July 6, 1932
Darling, I just couldn’t resist writing a few more lines before going to bed. You see I think as much about you that I just have to sit down and scribe a few words to the sweetest girl in the world.
I shocked myself today when I went through a lot of my old letters. My! The change is rather terrific was really as bashful (and no win the ones I reasoned) that I wonder how I changed. I have some from as far back as 1921. Evelyn flirted writing when she left in 1923 & as I have some from her from that time or until March 1932 (since that none) quite a pile. Then I read the ‘mushy’ letters Maude Kramer wrote me last year. That goes to show how fickle girls are. She must have not meant a word she said or else she changed a powerful lot. I like the ones from Bina were raking funny in the odd sort of way guess I’ve known the whole ‘shebang’ this getting to be a nuisance. I have a nice little place for them where no one can get them, but it seemed a desecration to let the ones I receive from you to lie there by them. Yours are the only ones who seem to really mean anything to me the others are just so much paper and dried ink. Yours are you, your thoughts, and your soul. See! They mean a lot to me Dot. Don’t let anything stop one of them they are what I live upon up here in the sticks.
Good night, for a while old sweet. I’m going to bed & dream of hikes, tennis, shores and wonderful evenings with Dotty Smith in dear old Salt Lake City. Just this before I go. XXX
Ellsworth
Ellsworth and Dorothy on a tennis date at Pioneer Park in Salt Lake City, Utah. Spring 1932.
___________________________________
[Dorothy to Ellsworth, 10 July 1932]
[…] Did you say you would skate with me next winter? Hot dog! You’re the 1st in a thousand I’ve asked that has been on ice before. (And I don’t mean in cold storage – I’m there right now.) […]
As I glance at you recent salutations and endings I corroborate your supposition that if you once wrote bashful letters you certainly have changed. Talk about flattering phrases, you letters are the most contaminated I’ve ever received from the make of the species. I’ve got correspondences dating back to 1921 lying around, I mean a few rare old specimens. From 1927 till the present I’ve had at least 5 male correspondents in more recent years as many as 8 at a time but do you think I ever allowed anything like you write? I held them down till they were afraid to take the chance of being so daring. Before we moved from 1st North I burned about 200 of those old letters but kept at least one sample of each of them to read over and smile at in my old age. Sometime I’ll get them out and let you see them – and if you haven’t destroyed those of yours keep a few to show me. We’ll stage a court scene and see who can get the most evidence against the other for breach of promise, pretending some of these letters are more recent than they really are. Now I don’t know – I’m afraid I’d lose, but then what have I promised? Still free, am I not?
by Cathy Gilmore | Jan 13, 2016 | Love Letters from the Archive
[Ellsworth is in Georgetown, Idaho on summer break from his studies in Salt Lake City. He is looking for work and missing Dorothy. You may note the absence of Dorothy’s letters. We know she sent him replies, but she had apparently discarded some letters she sent Ellsworth. Spelling an punctuation (a particular vice of Ellsworth’s) have not been corrected. -CG]
Georgetown Idaho
June 24, 1932
Mein Leibes Schatzie, (you said once you did not care if I said that)
There is a new word for you to learn. (schatzli) I couldn’t remember it for the longest time, but it came like a shot this morning. I shaved today and that could be a good reason for an approiate [sic] word to come to me. You see I had not shaven for a week. Well, you should have seen me. I looked like a porcupine. I’ve been weeding garden and hoeing again today, and believe me it’s plenty hot. We have almost as not weather here as they do in Salt Lake during the day, but thank the lucky stars it cools off in the evening.
I couldn’t get all the french in the last two letters, but I will before long. Also I want to ask you what you meant when you said “Noth kent kein gebot” OH! I see now I’ve written it down, only it seems that I can’t quite make out the noth. It means some sort of extremis knows no law. The other expression you used meant ‘To me it is all the same’ (mir ist alles emerlei[?])
So you don’t give a ‘hoot’ whether your letters are interesting or not. Is that what you mean? Gee! they are always interesting to me, but I hope that you cared whether they were or not. You surely are funny sometimes. You change so quickly. did you know that it is been forever that Carbolic acid has been formed to be mostly a bluff anyways it’s not really as effective as once thought.
Oh! Well! ‘doh de doh’ It looks like i have to toughen myself and not let things worry me.
Say, about the snaps. They should be here any day and there as soon as possible. I’ll send them to you. I hope that is soon.
The dance what was scheduled for tomorrow evening has been postponed until Tuesday. I wish they would make up their minds. I am pretty stiff now though, and a few days to loosen up a bit will help. I don’t know what I’ll loosen up for though. It seems that I’m not so crazy about the idea as at first.
Say, in those crazy dreams you have where I’m around some other woman, all you had better do is to remember that dreams go in opposites. That would make things much nicer for me.
You must not get any dream ideas of me running arosn around with someone else’s wife. When I take a girl out I hope that she does not foul me by making me believe things that she has already told someone else. I guess I’m funny that way. If you want to get rid of me, just get married, divorce your husband and come around. I’ll probably say “Yes dear I love you more than ever” (like heck I will) I wouldn’t say it anyway.
Now I think I’ll sign my name
Pure Concentrated Sulfuric Acid Clark
Now forget all that, I guess I’m just a little piqued at the way you ended your letter. The beginning was so good and the end so- so. Not at all like the Old German Proverb “Wie die Anfang zu die Ende” (How the beginning so to the end)
I guess the beginning was too good so the end had to compensate.
Anyway, I guess such things are the spice of life. Keep it up, just so there is compensation as much one way as the other.
It’s funny how a fellow reads things into letters. When I sat down to write your letter seemed the best ever and the more I read it the more I read into it. I guess I had better put it away and read it again when in better humor.
I wish I could see you tonight and talk to you . I’ve so much to say that will seem funny on paper. I’m afraid I’m a pretty poor correspondent card You might read things into it also. Then lets hope that I’ll get better in my writing, become I guess its improbable that I’ll see you soon. Oh. Dot. Now here I am getting ‘blue’ etc.
I’ll cut this rotten letter short and hope that the next one is very much better.
Auf wieder sehen to the sweetest girl in the whole world
Repentantly
Ellsworth
Don’t worry about the ‘can de vil’ and the contemporaries. I have promised.
[circle with X inside] (not habitual)
believe as you will about the sentiment you know me better than most people I believe
by Cathy Gilmore | Jan 10, 2016 | Love Letters from the Archive
[This is the earliest dated letter between Dorothy Smith and Ellsworth Clark. They first met while attending the Capitol Hill Ward in Salt Lake City in early 1932. While they dated steadily in the Spring, it appears that Dorothy was not ready to settle down. You will note in this series there are many more letters from Ellsworth than there are from Dorothy. We presume she discarded many she did not want to be seen. We will continue to publish them chronologically. -CG]
At Home
9:55 P.M.
Dear Dorothy,
When one is lonesome what shall he do? Writing a note is one way out of the situation. Then you get this I suppose you will be busy doing something at home, but if I fail to write every thing that is in my mind at the present time, it would take quite a time as well as a lot of paper. I guess that is the reason for the pencil. If I were writing a formal note it would, of course, be a pen.
There are many things I would like to talk to you about. I sense that things multiple, good things as well as the other kind.
When my friend Earl was up this evening, he said that he would be up to my place Thursday afternoon. It might be noon even, and wondered if I would get someone and go to the show with him. Do you feel as if you would like to go? I would rather take you than anyone I know of. Of course I’m so fickle that I’m apt to change my mind over night. I suppose if this stationary could grin, it would do it now. However, you have made me do enough thinking lately to conclude that nothing ever is until it has happened.
I guess I really have something of a “eye opening” coming, because I am just a little selfish. I guess I must think that when I think a certain way that other parties should think in the same way. Isn’t it funny how a person thinks a thing over in his own mind until it seems as though the very thing should happen.
I’m wondering if the letter will bore you with its length? You see I have to write when I can’t see you and talk things around and about.
It’s just my luck not to see you tonight so that I could talk things over. I didn’t know that you expected to leave Mutual or I would have told you something before Mutual.
Dorothy, I wish you would really be frank and tell me if you wish that we could turn things backwards about a week and forget a few things that have happened. Then be frank and criticize my actions of late. I have made a dreadful mistake somewhere it seems. Tell me truly what is wrong with me and why I feel as I do. What’s the matter when I feel superbly happy at one time, and then in such a short time will be gloomy and full of wondering. It is some sort of compensation, or can it be helped.
I want above all to be fair to you. I realize I have taken up a lot of your time and very probably boxed you slightly. I see now, a little, why you feel as you do.
Here I am one fellow among others that you have been sweet enough to make happy, and then I go and spoil things by falling for you. Now am I right? I, of course, had hoped that you cared just a little extra for me. In fact I still believe that you do or you couldn’t have been so wonderful to me the (two) fullest months I have ever spent in my life.
If someone were to ask me what did you get out of your winter in Salt Lake and if I really told the truth I would answer, “Incidently I stored in a few facts of knowledge. I met new people, studied, worked a bit.” Then I would continue, “But the best thing of my whole year has been the companionship of a girl in whom I have seen those qualities of beauty without sophistication, goodness without a sense of good goodiness, pep and fun without the usual rowdiness and sometimes baseness. I am better because of knowing her. She has made me see the shallowness of a girl who looks upon life as a plaything and made me see a girl who has the ideals of a healthy Normal person. In her appreciation of Art she is tempered in her actions and yet is not afraid to show her individualism. To be afraid of life does not daunt her. She will go forward and, I hope stand firm in the way she has chosen. If she is slightly afraid she can overcome it by only not thinking of being afraid. When love comes her way she should not be afraid of it but she should surely know before giving her love to a person.” There are many other things I would say as long as the person I was talking to was imagining.
A sense of Balance is desirable in all things. The old Greeks were right in their Philosophy “All things in Temperance, None in Excess.” The person who can integrate his life so as to have work, Beauty & live in the right proportions is indeed a happy individual. Science has made great advances in the last few years. But with the growth of this has come a feeling of independence of actions. The person who throws all of his vitality into a scheme for temporal things is now likely to find that Science is an imposter and is setting down on him. The latest in Science is that there is a force which motivates things to do one thing equally well as another. Much of Science is exact and dogmatic it makes its slaves nicely tuned machines, but what of the personal thing in our [b?].
Dorothy, you have made me see a few things even if you have not spoken a word concerning them. I didn’t start this letter with the idea of writing much of this, but it has just slipped out. I hope you will not take me wrong and think that I am merely trying to flatter you or make you feel good. I have just let you see a little of my view points and something of my ideals, especially of a girl. I could have gone on with my description of a girl who (I believe) is my ideal.
She does not have to be a stunning Beauty. What I hope for in a girl is personality. Not the shining society dame but rather a girl who can laugh at little things, as a sense of humor when troubles are about and can understand that the real life is on our contort with our neighbor & friend and not in putting on the “High Hat”. This girl, if she has intelligence and personality will be beautiful without the prize from Atlantic City for having the most beautiful face.
I could go on forever I guess, but you will wonder if I’m all ideas or am full of sermons and such. Golly no! I will write in german if I do. But I won’t! There is something else I would rather say in German. and that is — dass Ich wünschte dan I wund met das I werd met ihnen nacht. Seiner Küssen sind sehr gut! Sie sind so schön und liebische [sic] dass Ich denke, du hast die bessen “Dorty” der welt. suens tränen zu dich. [written above German in Dorothy’s handwriting] that I […]_ that I were with you tonight […] You are so sweet and lovely that I think you are the grandest […] in the world. — I will probably do the same thing. However, I hope it is because of me and not another one. That would spoil things for me.
Gute Nacht! Du müss nichts vergessen Ich leibe dich.
Ellsworth “Muss things up” Clark
I think will roll my myself into this envelope and slip in and see you unawares. Then let you talk to someone about me. Wonder what kind of a thing I would hear. Probably a very common word would be “Nutty” or “funny”.
Well you could say worse things than that.
E.
It’s now 20 minutes to twelve
gute nacht!
I’m as bad in my letters as in my good nights at other times.
E. Again.
